"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover."

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come."

"Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix."

"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"

"Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun."

"All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer."

"That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another...."

"To a quick question, give a slow answer."

"The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for."

"Architecture is one part science, one part craft and two parts art."

"Every civilization that has ever existed has ultimately collapsed."

"See first that the design is wise and just: that ascertained, pursue it resolutely; do not for one repulse forego the purpose that you resolved to effect."