"One of the advantages of living alone is that you don't have to wake up in the arms of a loved one."

"When nothing is sure, everything is possible."

"Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need... but not every man's greed."

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."

"Don't reinvent the wheel, just realign it."

"Climbing would be a great, truly wonderful thing if it weren't for all that damn climbing."

"Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had."

"Think highly of yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate."

"The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a ritual known as 'Bobbing for Baptists.'"

"Conscience and cowardice are really the same thing. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm."

"I sing all kinds."

"May you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows your dead"